Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament
By: Mark Vroegop
[Fulfilling “A book with more than one adjective in the title” for the 2021 Spring/Summer Reading Challenge.]
“Lament is the honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God’s goodness.”
I don’t know about you, but my heart has done that wrestling match.
Mark Vroegop says lament usually asks these questions: “Where are you, God?” and “If you love me, why is this happening?”
Have you ever wondered those?
Vroegop has written this book for us from the depths of his own grief. He has lived in the darkness of pain. His daughter, Sylvia, was stillborn. Before and after this was filled with miscarriages. He has asked the questions. Why? How long must we endure this? And he found something important.
“I discovered a minor-key language for my suffering: lament.”
Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy is a book that will meet us in our pain and offer us a biblical avenue for voicing it to God. It doesn’t rush us through our grief but gives us permission to feel our feelings without wondering if we’re disappointing God. He acknowledges the pain, but doesn’t leave us there; he also points us to truth and hope.
Lament is the process of journeying in pain to trust.
The title of this book comes from two seemingly contradictory, yet true, statements from Lamentations:
“How the Lord in his anger has set the daughter of Zion under a cloud!” (2:1)
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end.” (3:22)
Even in our dark clouds, He is merciful.
I shared a little in my review for Tim Keller’s book, Prayer, how I suffered a miscarriage and had a period of time where I was mad at God and I didn’t want to pray to him. Like Vroegop describes, I was wrestling with this tension of pain and God’s goodness.
I would have benefited from this book.
Instead of giving God the silent treatment, I could have spoken with him honestly in the language of lament.
Did you know it’s okay to ask God questions and to complain to him?
A third of the Psalms are laments. David and Job and even Jesus himself (quoting Psalm 22 as he died on the cross) show us that lamenting is part of the Christian life.
Vroegop, in studying these laments, has provided a pattern we can follow:
Turn (address to God)
Complain (a complaint)
Ask (a request)
Trust (an expression of trust and/or praise)
The word ‘complain’ carries a bit of semantic baggage— as a parent, I know this firsthand. But an important distinction to the complaints we hear from the mouths of our children and what we direct toward God is this:
“I do think it’s permissible to ask pain-filled questions as long as you’re coming in humility. Proud, demanding questions from a heart that believes it is owed something from God will never lean into true lament. Before you start complaining, be sure you’ve checked arrogance at the door. Come with your pain, not your pride.”
What I love most about Vroegop’s ‘course’ in lamenting is recognizing that we need to move from the question of ‘why’ to ‘who.’ As we lament, we are brought back to who God is— what we know to be true of him.
“In lament, we are honest with the struggles of life while also reminding ourselves that God never stops being God. His steadfast love never ends. He is sufficient. Therefore, our hope is not in a change of circumstances but in the promise of a God who never stops being merciful—even when dark clouds loom.”
What helped me through my pain was holding on to the truths of the Bible and choosing to trust God, even when it didn’t make sense. To believe that pain is not wasted. It is purposeful. That because I know God is faithful, he will be faithful even in this. That because I know Jesus died for me, the ‘why’ of my struggle can’t be because he doesn’t love me. That because God is wise, there could be a reason for this suffering beyond my understanding that is good.
Vroegop emphasizes the words ‘yet’ and ‘but’ in biblical laments. Even as we lay bare our hurts and frustrations, even as we call God to action to invoke mercy or justice, even as we question God’s purposes, YET we will praise him and trust him for he is faithful, steadfast, true, wise, and sovereign.
“Learn to live in the tension of pain beyond belief and divine sovereignty beyond comprehension by stepping into trust.”
I didn’t know it at the time, but Keller’s book, Prayer, that I mentioned earlier, inspired me to write a prayer out to God. I believe this was a lament. You can read it here. And it was good for my soul to express my hurts with a right view of God.
“Lament provides a place for both feelings and truth.”
I like these six reasons Vroegop gives us for why lamenting should be part of our prayer life.
Lament is:
the language for loss.
the solution for silence.
a category for complaints.
a framework for feelings.
the process for our pain.
a way to worship.
He takes four different lament Psalms and the book of Lamentations to illustrate these, going verse by verse to point things out. He talks about the influence of sin, the dangers of bitterness, the role of idols, the process of waiting, and the value of lamenting for others who are hurting.
At the end he gives many examples of how the church can incorporate laments into their rhythms. He also provides appendices with a lament ‘concordance’ and a worksheet to help structure and get into the practice of lamenting— a lost form of worship.
I’ve mostly honed in on how this book speaks to my personal pain, but what’s great about this book is that it is universal. It doesn’t matter what you are going through, whether it is a personal pain or a corporate injustice, whether it is intense loss or just the daily struggle of raising 4 kids who are under 5 and like to cry a lot and eat nothing (who me?), there is language in the Bible that will speak into it.
I think everyone who reads this book will come away feeling relief, validation, and hope.
“Everyone has a story. Lament is never a song you set out to sing. But in the discovery of lament, everyone can find grace for the pains of life.”
Before my normal list of quotes, here is one that resonated with me.
“When we are battling falsehoods in our thinking, sometimes singing has the power to convince our emotions to change.”
When I struggled to pray, I would listen to music and I would say the words in my head, begging God, “I know this is true, I can’t sing it right now, but help me to believe it.” Here is a link to a playlist I made of songs that spoke truth into my darkness, that echoed the pain in my heart and proclaimed what I didn’t have the strength to. Maybe some of them will speak to you too.
A few more quotes:
“For the Christian, the exodus event—the place where we find ultimate deliverance— is the cross of Christ. This is where all our questions—our heartaches and pain—should be taken. The cross shows us that God has already proven himself to be for us and not against us.”
“Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief… He knows the sorrows of injustice, hypocrisy, false accusations, physical weakness, temptations, betrayal, and feelings abandoned. That becomes the basis for our bold requests.”
“The wonderful news is that you don’t walk this path in your own strength. It’s not simply a matter of your grit and willpower. Instead, God helps you to keep trusting him. As John Piper says, ‘Keep trusting the One who keeps you trusting.’”
“A Christian should understand that beneath every painful aspect of our humanity is the reality of sin. Every death, every war, every injustice, every loss, every hurt, and ever tear owe their existence to sin. It has affected everything.”
“If God can take the most unjust moment in history and turn it into redemption, then surely we can say, ‘You reign!’ Even when we can’t imagine how God might use hard circumstances in our lives, we can still believe he’s in control.”
**Received an ARC via Amazon **
Further Reading:
Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers by Dane Ortlund
How Long, O Lord?: Reflections on Suffering and Evil by D.A. Carson
Suffering Wisely and Well: The Grief of Job and the Grace of God by Eric Ortlund
If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil by Randy Alcorn
What They Meant for Evil: How a Lost Girl of Sudan Found Healing, Peace, and Purpose in the Midst of Suffering by Rebecca Deng
Becoming a Woman Whose God is Enough by Cynthia Heald
The Honest Griever: Truths God Teaches on the Journey from Pain to Purpose by Lynne Hoeksema
Share this book review to your social media!