Is God Anti-Gay?
Is God Anti-Gay?: And Other Questions about Homosexuality, the Bible, and Same-Sex Attraction
By: Sam Allberry
[Update: My original review was written after reading a revised and expanded edition of the original 2015 published book. Then I read the 2023 edition which is basically the same but they moved some sections around, changed some of the phrasing and section headings, and added a few things here and there. The message is unchanged.]
“When an idol fails you, the real culprit turns out to be the person who has urged you to worship it— not the person who has tried to take it away.”
Is God Anti-Gay?
That is a popular question of the day.
When someone asks this question, I believe at the heart of their question is this: Is God against LGBTQ people?
In short, the answer to that is No.
In some ways this question correlates to the oft-(mis)used phrase- ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin.’
What needs to be addressed at the beginning of this is that the culture has so attached sexuality to identity that if we are to oppose a sexual lifestyle, it feels like an attack on the core of who many people believe themselves to be.
This is why clarification and defining terms is so important.
Sam Allberry, a pastor and author of What God Has to Say about Our Bodies, who is same-sex-attracted and living a celibate lifestyle, explains it like this:
“[God] is against who all of us are by nature… But he loves [us] enough to carry [our] burden, take [our] place, clean [us] up, make [us] whole, and unite [us] forever to himself.”
God hates sin. Sin is in opposition to his holiness, it cannot be in his presence. And we all bear the mark of our sinful nature.
“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12)
But even when our sin separated us from God, God made a way for us to be with him. He expressed his love for us on the cross. He invites everyone, burdened with all kinds of sins, to come to him, to repent, and be free from the chains of self-worship.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom 5:8)
“For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” (Rom 5:10)
That’s the gospel message. We are all sinners and we all need a Savior. God redeems us and calls us out of our sin and offers us freedom and life. And this invitation is extended in love to every person regardless of their sins. God is for us, not against us. Yet this surrender to God requires us to put on a new self that is defined and designed by Him.
Sam Allberry’s book addresses all of the common questions regarding homosexuality, looks at the applicable Bible verses, offers practical and helpful advice in how to love and share the gospel truths with believing and unbelieving same-sex-attracted people, and reminds us of grace and compassion so often missing from these discussions.
Kevin DeYoung (author of What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?), Mark Dever, Al Mohler (author of The Gathering Storm), Russell D. Moore, Carl Trueman (author of The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self), and Jonathan Leeman (author of How the Nations Rage) all contribute one of those blurbs of praise at the beginning of this book which speaks to the solid theology found within.
Does Our Sexuality Define Us?
One of the most important aspects of this book is the discussion on identity. Allberry uses the term ‘same-sex-attracted’ (SSA).
“Describing myself like this is a way for me to recognize that the kind of sexual attractions I experience are not fundamental to my identity. They are part of what I feel but are not who I am in a fundamental sense. I am far more than my sexuality.”
This is one of the biggest things that muddies the waters of any loving discussion.
Western culture has propped up sexuality as a core part of identity and elevated sexual fulfillment as the mark of a wholly fulfilled life.
How could we attack who people are to their core? How could we deny people the pinnacle of life?
If those two things were true, then it would, indeed, be cruel.
But Christians who believe the Bible understand that our sexuality is not what defines us. It is not our identity and it could never fulfill us. Sex is a good thing, but it is not an ultimate thing. Sex can never fulfill us. The mark of a fulfilled life is not sexual pleasure or marital commitment.
“It is not the teaching of Jesus that tells you that life is not worth living if you can’t be fulfilled sexually— that a life without sex is no life at all. It is not biblical Christianity that insists someone’s sexual disposition is so foundational to who they are, and that to fail to affirm their particular leaning is to attack who that person is at their core. All this comes not from biblical Christianity but from western culture’s highly distorted view of what it means to be a human. When an idol fails you, the real culprit turns out to be the person who has urged you to worship it— not the person who has tried to take it away.”
Along with this statement, Allberry charges the church to stop putting marriage on a pedestal in the same way. Marriage is a sacred covenant that is representative of the church as the bride of Christ, but marriage is not an ultimate thing either and we should not idolize it.
We also must be careful with our words and our tone because when we speak to people struggling with SSA, it is not a political issue, it’s a personal thing. We are dealing with people. With image-bearers of God. And our speech should reflect that compassion as we share God’s truth.
Throughout the book Allberry affirms where our identity is and how we find our fulfillment.
What Questions Does He Answer?
Though Kevin DeYoung’s book has a little more depth in terms of looking at the Scriptures that refer to homosexuality, Allberry still covers quite a bit in this short book and convincingly defends a biblical interpretation that confirms homosexual practice to be a sin and a gospel issue that is not an ‘agree to disagree’ doctrine.
The passages he talks about are Genesis 19; Leviticus 18, 20; Romans 1:18-32; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; and 1 Timothy 1:9-10). I won’t go into all the details here but he addresses the greek words, what natural vs unnatural means, consensual vs nonconsensual, temptations, and the other sins listed with homosexuality.
He addresses questions like:
Isn’t a same-sex partnership okay if it’s committed and faithful?
Does Jesus ever mention same-sex relationships?
Aren’t we just picking and choosing which Levitical laws that still apply?
Isn’t the Christian view of sexuality harmful?
Is it sinful to experience same-sex-attraction?
Aren’t people just born this way?
Allberry is firm to tell readers that SSA does not disqualify you from accessing God’s grace, mercy, and love. There is no sin that puts you out of God’s reach. The invitation is for you, no matter what you have done.
God is powerful enough to heal you and take away SSA but it’s not promised and should not be expected. He is not promoting a ‘cure’ for homosexuality. He is promoting God’s forgiveness and the power of the Spirit who helps us in our weakness. He is promoting God’s sanctification that will not be fully realized this side of heaven.
What Does This Mean for the Church?
A strategy of the deceiver is to place a barrier between people with SSA and the church, a wall that divides. And really he’s accomplishing this quite well today. In the LGBTQ community, the church is seen as the enemy. The church is viewed as the oppressor and the opposer.
And tragically, the church has oppressed and opposed in sinful ways to many many people. And God grieves this.
The church has a lot of work to do to correct this perception and reality. To shed the condemnation of false superiority and clothe herself with love and humility and encouragement.
I really felt like Allberry brought the wall down. Reading this book helped me to stop viewing people in divided groups. We have to stop seeing this as an us vs them thing. No one should be ‘outsiders’ in our churches.
He provides great advice on how to communicate with people who come out to us.
How to welcome SSA people/couples into the church and include them in your lives. That we have to resist the urge to confront their homosexuality immediately or mainly.
“Christians who want to explain the Christian faith to gay friends need to know that what the Bible says about homosexuality is not the only thing they need to explain, and it is probably not the first thing, or even the main thing, they need to focus on.”
I love this illustration from Tim Keller he uses:
“Churches should feel more like the waiting room for a doctor and less like a waiting room for a job interview. In the latter we all try to look as competent and impressive as we can. Weaknesses are buried and hidden. But in a doctor’s waiting room we assume that everyone there is sick and needs help.”
No one is any better than the next. Any people attending our churches should be welcomed in good company— we are all struggling with some sin and we all need the Spirit to overcome it. We walk alongside our brothers and sisters and help each other. There is no interview to ace, there is just a Doctor who is waiting for you to let him care for you.
Another fault of the church is the idolization of marriage.
Allberry explains the blessings of singleness and admonishes where the church has gotten this wrong. He charges the church to incorporate single people into their families and their lives. To stop trying to marry every one off as if that is God’s assumed calling on their life.
“Singles should not be thought or spoken of as loose ends that need tying up.”
After all, Jesus was single and celibate and he was obviously no less of a person for it.
“Union with Christ forever is what the earthly states of both marriage and singleness actually point to. The purpose of earthly marriage is not to fulfill us, but to point us to the relationship that does. The purpose of singleness is not to show that we are sufficient, but to point us to the one who is.”
Unity in Diversity
He talks about God’s design for marriage being a man and woman. Part of this description, that Rachel Gilson echoes in her book, Born Again This Way, is how marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church. The two parts of the relationship are distinct and not interchangeable. Christ and the church. Man and woman.
For marriage to be woman and woman or man and man would be like Christ and Christ or the church and the church. It doesn’t work that way. There is unity in the diversity of marriage.
I had never thought about it this way before. When you study Scripture and God’s design for marriage, you see how purposeful it is. You see God’s character reflected and you see his heart to promote and protect life.
Conclusion
This book is just over 100 pages but there is so much packed into it.
I’ve struggled a lot with how to love LGBTQ people without condoning a sinful lifestyle. Many negative reviews of this book are negative because they don’t feel like anything Allberry is saying is loving if he is telling them that acting on their desires is wrong.
To many people today, to feel loved by others involves others accepting and approving whatever choices they make. Though Allberry speaks truth in a loving way, it still might not feel loving to those who disagree.
I’m encouraged by this book and have to trust that the power of God’s truth, love, and grace will be revealed to those who hear it. We are ambassadors of the gospel, but we are not the saviors, only God is. My prayer is that people reading this book will see Christ for who he is and that we would love Christ and trust the power of his truth more than the power of our feelings.
Allberry has written a fantastic resource that will unite the body of Christ as we seek to love both God’s commands and designs but also his creation— his image-bearers.
It is not exhaustive, but you can check out some of the resources below for further reading and study.
I would say this book is probably more targeted for believers than unbelievers, but there is something in it for everyone.
Highly recommend!
I’ll end on this powerful quote from Rachel Gilson’s book, Born Again This Way:
“Same-sex-attracted Christians today who are choosing God over sex and romance mirror the eunuch’s costly obedience and trust. Certainly it is not only same-sex-attracted Christians who do this— all Christians are called to God’s high sexual standard. But in this cultural moment, which urges people to boldly take up their LGBT+ identity, those who choose God over sex and romance echo that cry of Peter to Jesus: Where else would we go? You alone have the words of life. In a moment when everyone else was walking away, Peter recognized that Jesus had the only thing worth having— all other options were no options at all.”
Some Other Quotes:
“a number of Christians have said something like this: ‘The gospel must be harder for you than it is for me,’ as though I have more to give up than they do. But the fact is that the gospel demands everything of all of us. If someone thinks the gospel has somehow slotted into their life quite easily, without causing any major adjustments to their lifestyle or aspirations, it is likely that they have not really started following Jesus at all.”
“Denying yourself does not mean tweaking your behavior here and there… It is saying ‘no’ to your deepest sense of who you are, for the sake of Christ. To take up a cross is to declare your life (as you have known it) forfeit. It is laying down your life for the very reason that your life, it turns out, is not yours at all. It belongs to Jesus. He made it. And through his death he has bought it.”
“All of us have desires that are warped as a result of our fallen nature. Desires for things God has forbidden are a reflection of how sin has distorted me, not of how God has made me.”
“God is opposed to all sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage. It’s not that the Bible opposes all homosexual activity but approves of any and every sexual act between heterosexual people.”
Further Reading
What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality? by Kevin DeYoung
Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
Born Again This Way: Coming Out, Coming to Faith, and What Comes Next by Rachel Gilson
The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to the Sexual Revolution by Carl Trueman
What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel Is Good News for Our Physical Selves by Sam Allberry
The Secular Creed: Engaging Five Contemporary Claims by Rebecca McLaughlin
Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays vs Christians Debate by Justin Lee [I don’t agree with his conclusions and interpretations of the Bible— see my review— but it was good to hear his story]
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