On Getting Out of Bed
On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden and Gift of Living
By: Alan Noble
“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”
Why get out of bed? What is the point? Why is it good and meaningful to live?
These are the questions Alan Noble seeks to answer in this short, direct, and transparent book.
There are many books written on the topic of grief and suffering, but I don’t think I’ve read one that tackles these questions specifically.
This is not a ‘pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps’ inspirational pep talk. This is not a three step process to better manage your feelings and therefore your life— as so many self-help books so easily claim. It is also not meant to replace professional help from a medical doctor, psychiatrist, or counselor— which may be needed in certain circumstances.
“When you no longer have hope for a pleasurable life, when you have every expectation of increased suffering, suicide is logical— unless the reason we choose to go on living is something greater than pleasure, or freedom from pain, or even hope for a better tomorrow.”
What is your reason?
Noble is honest and transparent about the despair and anxiety that can trap us and keep us from viewing life as a gift. He doesn’t minimize the feelings but instead encourages us to endure. Not because having faith in God makes it all go away, but because He is the Sustainer who promises to restore us in this life or the next if we trust him with our life.
“By watching you endure, others will know that it is possible to keep going. They will have a model for perseverance. You don’t know whose life you may save by honestly and faithfully enduring a mental affliction.”
And with all of this, the key is that we cannot do any of it on our own. There is no ‘self-help.’ We need the Spirit’s strength to get out of bed. We need the Spirit of truth to combat the lies of the devil that wishes to destroy that which was made in the very image of God. We need God more than ever. ‘Self-help’ is not the answer.
I, personally, have not experienced the depth of depression or anxiety that many people have. This book has helped me to see the struggle that others face and to understand it better.
In fact, it was convicting when he shared that when he saw depressed people he used to think:
“You know, if they just made better choices, if they were just disciplined and stopped making excuses, they wouldn’t have to suffer this way.”
And I admit that I think this sometimes too. Because I haven’t experienced it, it feels like a choice. But I’ve been learning more and more to have compassion and grace and realize it’s not that simple.
Each of us will view life as both a gift and a burden at some point in our lives, so this book is for everyone. To help us understand our loved ones. To prepare ourselves for when we find ourselves in the pit.
Because:
“you may not need it now but it may hit you unexpectedly and you need an answer ready because you probably won’t be able to formulate one in the moment." … to answer the question- why live?
Your Life Testifies
I think I liked chapter three the best. It resonated with me that he says,
“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”
Because we are made in the image of God, just being alive is a testament to Him and brings Him glory. Getting out of bed in the morning can feel impossible, but it is also courageous. We don’t know what the day will bring, but getting up testifies that life is a good thing and it is worth living. It is an act of faith. It is an act of worship.
“All we can do sometimes is to decide what our existence is a witness to, what it speaks of, and how we can share the burden of witnessing with one another.”
“Because you are made in the image of God, your personhood proclaims the goodness of a Creator God. You can try to denigrate your personhood through self-abuse or self-loathing, but you remain in His image, and so you testify.”
“Life will inevitably crush you, at one point or another, and your response to that suffering will testify to something. There will be times when subjectively you will be convinced that life is not worth living, and that existence is not beautiful or good but onerous and meaningless. When those times come, your obligation is to look toward others as witnesses of God’s goodness, to remember your responsibilities to care for others, and to remember that you are always a witness, whether you want to be or not. But most of all, remember that you are God’s beloved. This means acknowledging the objective reality that life is good, and that despite our distress, we must get up and carry on.”
“We offer our bodies as a living sacrifice by daily embracing life and dying to our flesh: our sinful desires, our selfishness, our pride, even our fear and despair. Unlike the sacrifices offered under the old covenant, which came through death, our sacrifices come through life, from the decision to honor God with our lives.”
What is True
Another thing that resonated with me was this:
“The goal is not to reason your brain out of despair. That rarely works, in my experience. Instead, it’s to form habits that in their very nature affirm what you know to be true when you don’t feel it to be true.”
While I haven’t experienced an intense form of depression, I did go through a real dark time of grief after miscarrying my first child. I became angry at God and bitter. I questioned his goodness and his love.
The thing was— I knew all the answers. I knew what was true, but it just didn’t FEEL true because I was hurting.
I found that I couldn’t sing the worship songs at church because the words were so contrary to what I was feeling in my heart. Instead, I pondered the words and with each verse and chorus I just said in my head- ‘Lord, these words don’t feel true, but I know they are. Help me to believe them. Help me to be able to sing these words again.’
I had a playlist of songs that spoke truth to my heart even when I didn’t feel it. And I know that God used truth to draw me back to him.
Forming habits to affirm truth over your life even when it feels like dissonance is an act of faith and trust that God will restore you. I think Noble’s advice is really good here.
The Road
He referred a lot to the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I have not read it. From the excerpts he includes and descriptions he gives, I can’t imagine it’s an emotionally easy read.
But it explores— through a mother, father, and son in throes of a dangerous dystopian world— whether life is worth living if future suffering is possible and probable.
Facing the horrors of the end of civilization, the mother lays out a very logical argument to commit suicide and she does so.
The father, however, does not. He looks at his son and sees through him “the goodness of life,” a “warrant of God’s existence.” He chooses to live to protect his son and to be a witness to his son that life is still worth living.
It’s not the Bible by any means, but perhaps reading that book as well would resonate with many.
I Wish
I wish he would have talked more about those who are contemplating suicide because of intense feelings of guilt. He does mention this briefly and reminds us of God’s grace and forgiveness, but I wish he would have spent more time on that aspect.
How do we counter the thoughts that the world doesn’t need us or that it’s better off without us because of things we have done that have hurt others? How does the Gospel and forgiveness work in these situations?
I also wish he would have had an appendix with some examples of how we can communicate these truths to our loved ones who experience depression. It’s easy to start sounding like Job’s friends when we try to help. Supporting people in the grips of despair feels like a fragile time for words and I think it would have been a great addition to give some examples of appropriate conversations.
It does make me think of the book When Words Matter Most that may be helpful here.
Recommendation
I definitely think this book is worth reading because it reminds us that just existing is an act of worship, choosing to live and just do the next thing is a witness to others, and that even in our struggles, we can still sacrificially love others in a really meaningful way.
Of course, as he says, you may need professional help or more than this book depending on your circumstances. Not all cases of ‘not wanting to get out of bed’ are the same. So this is not meant to be a ‘cure’ for mental illness, but I found it to be encouraging and gentle— a plea to endure in the midst of very real suffering.
Noble says:
“If you take away one truth, the one thing in this book I know with certainty, let it be this: your life is a good gift from a loving God, even when subjectively it doesn’t feel good or like a gift, and even when you doubt that God is loving. Please get out of bed anyway.”
Further Reading
If you are looking for something that delves more into mental illness in detail, this is not that.
If you are looking for a book that discusses why God allows pain and suffering and how we can reconcile that with God’s nature, I would recommend Mark Vroegop’s book Dark Clouds Deep Mercy, D.A. Carson’s book How Long O Lord?, and Suffering Wisely and Well by Eric Ortlund.
John Onwuchekwa’s book We Go On is real about the sorrows and bitterness of life and uses the book of Ecclesiastes to help us know how to ‘go on from here’ knowing both the sweetness and bitterness of our experiences and yet finding purpose from the only One who can give it.
**Received a copy of this book from IVP in exchange for an honest review**
You can purchase a copy of this book using my affiliate link below.
Share this book review to your social media!