Those Who Have Gone Before
Those Who Have Gone Before: Honoring My Mom
By: Brittany Shields
I wanted to take this Mother’s Day to write about my mom.
She’s in my phone as ‘The April Bamachel’ (rhymes with Rachel), but I”ll just call her ‘my mom’ so you’re not confused.
I’ve been studying Hebrews.
In Hebrews 6:12 the author is exhorting the readers to be assured in their hope:
“so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.”
It comes on the heels of verses encouraging them to advance from basic foundations to a more mature faith. A necessary growth. A growth that comes from following in the footsteps of those who have gone before.
We were created to imitate.
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” - Ephesians 5:1
Before and after this verse is a whole list of ways that we imitate God.
Children look like their parents in appearance. But they also start to look like their parents in their mannerisms, their habits, their word choices.
It’s always humbling when I pay attention to how my kids pretend to be a mom or dad when they play house. It reveals to me what they have observed and internalized as how a mom acts or talks.
They are imitating me whether I want them to or not!
On a biological level, our brains have ‘mirror neurons’ which help us to be able to watch someone do something and then replicate it.
We are created to imitate.
In Philemon 3:17 Paul says,
“Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.”
In 1 Corinthians 11:1 Paul says,
“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
Paul and the author of Hebrews, and many other places in Scripture, advise us, calling us to imitate others who walk in the faith. Not ultimately to become like them but because by imitating those who imitate Christ, we also imitate Christ.
We imitate what we want to become. We do this in other areas of our lives. If we want to become better cooks, we watch chefs who have gone before us and mastered the skill. If we want to become better athletes we do as they do in workouts and practice.
In my Hebrews study, Jen Wilkin said, “We become what we behold.”
It reminded me of my blog post Behave or Behold? where I talked about how imitating God is less about a checklist of things to do or say, but a beholding of who he is. Revering him compels us to become like him.
What does that look like?
We have many examples in the Bible.
I was told to think about someone in my own life with the kind of patient faith described in Hebrews.
I thought of my mom.
The more I labor and love as a mom, the more I recognize the woman my mom was and still is. I see her sacrifice, her teaching, her love, her patience, her humility, her faith. I see her perseverance, her wisdom, her steadfastness, her trust.
I would be overjoyed to become even half the woman my mom is!
When I read the context of Ephesians 5 I see my mom all over the place.
My mom is a subtle presence but her faith is a megaphone.
Let me tell you about her!
My mom and I in Maui
My mom is a contented woman.
My mom stayed home with my three siblings and I until we got to high school when she picked up some part-time work. Now as an empty-nester, she is also at home again. Growing up we mostly just had my dad’s pastoral salary.
We didn’t have money to get all the extras or to eat out all the time.
But I will tell you, my mom did not complain about her ‘lot’ in life. She was and still is content with a simple life. She did her part to save- shopping sales, using coupons, or going without. She made home-cooked meals every day.
She has never derived happiness or joy or satisfaction in material things or in appearances. She never lamented any dream left ‘unfulfilled.’ She was happy to serve and be with her family and did not spend her time thinking of what could have been.
As all moms do, she gave up a lot for us, but she didn’t count it a loss. Things and ‘what-ifs’ and being like everyone else, were not idols to her. She did not let envy infect her joy.
Because of her presence and contented spirit in our home, it always felt full. We were never lacking, and we saw through her what was important and what brought true joy.
My mom is a serving woman.
This flows from being content. Her focus was not on herself but on others. She served her family well, always putting our needs ahead of her own.
Getting married exposes your selfishness. Having kids exacerbates it even more. In all of my struggles as a wife and a mom I look at my mom and I am more aware of and in awe with all that she did for us.
She cooked and cleaned. She did the dishes and the laundry. And on top of that, she served at church, bringing meals, volunteering, leading Bible studies, inviting others into our home.
She may be at home more than a lot of women, but she was never idle!
Even now, us kids are grown and out of the house, but she still travels to all of our houses to help us with whatever we need, watch our kids, or just to spend time with us.
She does not measure how much of herself or her time she gives, but seems to serve endlessly, trusting the Lord to in turn, fill her back up again.
Oh that I would serve as humbly, graciously, lovingly, and consistently as my mom!
My mom is a praying woman.
I have many memories as a kid bursting into my parent’s bedroom (probably to beg for snacks) only to find I’d interrupted her prayer time. She had a chair by her bed where she would pray and do her devotions.
She may have been imitating her aunt, Ila, who was also a prayer warrior.
If my mom says she will be praying for you, she will absolutely follow through. And not just once. And not just cursory prayers. She is a woman who believes in the power of prayer because she believes in the power of the One she prays to.
Prayer is not a secondary thing. It is a primary thing. Her genuine faith leads her to prayer and fellowship with the Lord because she desires his will, she trusts his will, and she believes he hears her and desires to act on her prayers.
Her prayers are also filled with gratitude. God’s blessings are never lost on her. Her focus on thanking God for all he has done, all he has given, has kept bitterness from her heart. It frees her to live each day in joy, even in the brokenness of life.
My mom is a steadfast and wise woman.
My mom has prayed herself and members of our family through many trials. She is not a stranger to pain, grief, or suffering.
She has cried many tears. On her own behalf, but largely on the behalf of others.
Suffering can distance you from God or draw you closer. My mom is continually driven to the Lord. Hebrews talks about holding fast to the hope that we have in Christ and being anchored in him. That’s my mom.
In all the waves and storms of life, my mom is firmly anchored in the truth of the gospel. She has the gift of faith; she does not waver. In the droughts, she is patient and steadfast.
She is a diligent reader of Scripture. She has hidden it in her heart, clinging to it every day. This is the strength that she draws from. The Bible is true. God’s promises are true. His words of hope and endurance are true.
Where else can she go, only Jesus has the words of life.
My mom is stubborn. And this stubbornness has conformed her into a woman of conviction. She cannot be convinced to doubt God’s love or providence. She is not deceived by empty words. She is steadfast, weathering it all in truth and worship of her sovereign God.
Her knowledge of the Lord and his word enables her to discern what is wise and what is good and to share that with others.
My mom is a teaching woman.
Titus 2: 4-6 says,
“Older women are to teach the young women to love their husbands and children. They are to teach them to think before they act, to be pure, to be workers at home, to be kind, and to obey their own husbands. In this way, the Word of God is honored.”
My mom has been a teacher in myriad ways.
Ever since I can remember, my mom has had a Tuesday morning Bible study. Even to this day. Not only that, but over the years she has mentored many women, of all ages, and has made many disciples of Christ.
She does not necessarily like speaking in front of people or being the center of attention, but she loves God’s Word and loves sharing it with others.
She is not afraid of what the Bible teaches, even if it is unpopular in the culture. Like Ephesians commands, she exposes the darkness with the light of the truth.
Part of teaching is learning. I get my love of reading from my mom.
She’s always learning by studying the Word, reading books, listening to podcasts, and sitting under my dad’s teaching.
She was a constant teacher as a mom, helping us learn about Jesus, how to be kind, how to discern right from wrong, and all the foundational things we moms have the privilege to bestow on our children.
But even now as her children are grown, her teaching continues.
I can’t tell you how many conversations I have had with my mom where she has discipled me in how to love my husband and children better and how to honor God’s Word.
Her most effective method of teaching is just her humble example. She practices what she preaches; her actions line up with her words. People know that she is not performing. She is simply following Christ in every thing she says and does. Her life is a testament of the Gospel.
I know many of you reading this may not have had a mom like I did, or you mourn that you aren’t able to be a mom yet or ever, so let me encourage you that this post is not about being a mom or putting my mom on a pedestal.
She would be the first one to tell you she’s not perfect.
The purpose of this post and the exhortation of the author of Hebrews is twofold— follow those who have gone before in faith and be the example for those who are following you.
If you didn’t have a mom of faith, you understand in a deeper way the hole that leaves, the ache and the yearning for that presence, for those footsteps to walk in.
If you’re not a mom, you may think you don’t have anyone to lead.
But neither of these scenarios exempts you from being used for God’s kingdom. Invest in others. Help build the faith of other daughters in Christ. You are needed.
My mom is definitely special. But she’s not an anomaly. I can tell you of many women in my life and church who have been a support and an example to me in how to live out my faith better in and out of the home.
My mom is not marketing herself or the April-brand of doing things; she is sharing Christ.
She has gone before me in patient faith and I thank God for her presence in my life.
My prayer is that I might imitate her and in so doing, imitate Christ.
Who are you imitating?
Who is imitating you?
“Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” - Ephesians 5:16
