The Porn Problem
The Porn Problem
By: Vaughan Roberts
There are a lot of people who don’t view porn as a problem.
My husband and I just got back from a resort that has a corresponding fan Facebook page for the frequenters of the resort. The page has regular posts from people celebrating the two “special” channels that can be accessed in the rooms and evaluating the “quality” of said channels.
One of the biggest eye-opening moments for me when I went off to college was discovering how common porn is even for Christians. Whether it is celebrated or just a struggle people are trying to overcome, porn is very prevalent in the world today.
“The highly respected Nielsen Media Research organization reported that about 60 million people— over a quarter of internet users in the US— visited a pornographic website during one month in 2010…”
It was a bit ironic to read this book right before I read the book Verity which has a lot of sexual content. I think sexually graphic novels might be a blind spot for a lot of women. Just because it isn’t on a screen doesn’t mean it’s not a form of pornography that can still be harmful for us and our relationships.
Roberts suggests it may even be more powerful when we read it:
“Verbal descriptions, along with the images we see, combine to feed fantasies we create for ourselves. Sometimes the most powerful porn is stuff we create in our own heads.”
Is porn a problem?
I think we are naive to answer anything other than ‘yes.’
“Social commentators, medical professionals, and concerned individuals point to the negative impact it is having, for example, on body image, relational health, and the development of adolescent sexuality.”
“The American Psychological Association has stated, ‘The saturation of sexualized images of females is leading to body hatred, eating disorders, low self-esteem [and] depression.’”
“As porn has become more accessible, increasing numbers of children are viewing it at a very young age. Much of their sex education is through discovery online. And they’re not just learning the facts of life through porn; it’s also forming their attitudes to sex and their understanding of what is normal sexually.”
“A peer-reviewed research study that analyzed data from seven different countries concluded that there is ‘little doubt that, on average, individuals who consume pornography more frequently are more likely to hold attitudes [supporting] sexual aggression and engage in actual acts of sexual aggression.’”
I also read an account in This is Going to Hurt about a young girl who came in to the hospital with mutilated genitals because she had been trying to change herself to look more like what is found in porn.
Just look at this secular organization called Fight the New Drug. Their website is full of facts and stories that tell the real story about how porn hurts people, relationships, and the world at large.
You don’t have to be a Christian to recognize the harmful affects of porn.
One thing that I think is severely understated is how porn fuels human trafficking.
“According to cases reported to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, pornography was the 3rd-most common form of sex trafficking, after escort services and elicit massage businesses.”
“In fact, research has shown that porn consumers are more likely to express an intent to rape, less likely to intervene during a sexual assault, more likely to victim-blame survivors of sexual assault, more likely to support violence against women, more likely to forward sexts without consent, and more likely to commit actual acts of sexual violence. In fact, some evidence suggests that this desensitization toward sexual violence through the consumption of porn can then manifest in more willingness to buy sex, which increases the demand for individuals being trafficked for sex.” (FTND)
The idea that porn is just an experience of personal preference and conviction is a lie.
Porn is not harmless.
In this Book
This book is only 80 pages. It is not intended to be exhaustive.
Roberts wants to open this discussion in our communities and churches. This is a book with talking points.
“Our aim is to give you an accessible introduction to the many questions that surround the issues of pornography, and a starting point for constructive discussion between Christian believers and others.”
Roberts exposes the ugliness of porn and beauty of God’s design for sex. God is not against sex. It is a gift from him that he has designed with specific boundaries to protect us.
Watching porn is not a path to freedom. It’s the road to slavery.
Just as all sin chains us to our every fleshly desire that we try and fail to satisfy.
We can’t fully recognize the problem or the solution of porn until we see ourselves for what we are. Our hearts are corrupted by sin, “we are not victims; we are perpetrators.”
“Remember, the fundamental problem that causes slavery to porn is not our psychology or biology, but our sin. And to counter that, we can’t rely on self-help. We need a savior. Only Jesus Christ can truly set us free.”
The chapters in this book go from describing the problem of porn, God’s good design for sex, how porn enslaves us, where true freedom is, living porn-free, and helping others.
At the end is a list of resources. I’m including pictures of those resources below because I think they are so important. Especially as parents trying to figure out how we control what our kids have access to.
Living Porn-Free
There is hope!
After we see our sinful hearts, the damage of porn, and the intended purpose of sex, we may struggle to understand how we could ever get to that place.
This book has a lot of encouragement for people who may struggle with a porn addiction. There is nothing that can’t be forgiven in Christ. God turns toward us in our sin, not away. He wants to heal us and redeem us.
“The Bible has wonderful news for those who are beginning to feel they will never find victory in the fight against porn. The gospel of Jesus Christ offers complete forgiveness and also a new power by the Holy Spirit to enable us to fight sin and grow in holiness. It really is possible to live porn-free.”
I love what he says about living porn-free because it applies to any area of our lives that we want to see change. It’s not about just avoiding things and saying ‘no.’ It’s about first saying ‘yes’ to Christ and seeking after him.
“Heath Lambert writes: ‘You need to be the kind of person who fights for a close relationship with Jesus more than you fight against pornography… When you find yourself working to look to Christ more than you find yourself working to avoid porn, you’ll know you’ve turned the corner… A living, breathing relationship with Jesus will drive porn out of your life quicker than anything else. When you turn your eyes to Jesus, there isn’t room for anything else in your heart because he fills it up.’”
The focus isn’t on the sin. The focus is on the Savior.
Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this book. As stated earlier, it’s a great introduction to this conversation.
I do wish it was a little longer because Roberts doesn’t talk at all about human trafficking which I’m always shocked that people don’t see or don’t want to see its connection to porn.
I also wish he would have addressed the idea of ‘empowerment’ as it pertains to our bodies. I think there are a lot of females that advocate for porn or sites like OnlyFans because they believe the lie that revealing our bodies gives us power. That is a harmful belief to act on.
So the conversation can’t stop here, but for those who don’t like reading big or many books, this is a really good option.
I have a couple more book suggestions below for further reading. This was the first book I read that was specifically and entirely about the topic of porn, but the others listed talk about sex, sexuality, and how that influences our identities and our bodies.
In all of them is a heart for people, grace and forgiveness, and the acknowledgement that the church has not always handled this well. Hopefully reading books like this can help us on the road to doing better in caring for people and the things they struggle with. Our sin is a common denominator with all people and we all need a Savior. The church should be a place that helps bring people to the Doctor for healing, not judging them in the waiting room for not being healed already.
I’ll end with this quote because I think we all need a reminder that our sinful choices may lead to immediate gratification but it causes us to miss out on something much greater.
“Porn is the equivalent of burning a priceless Stradivarius violin for a few moments of warmth, and missing out on a lifetime of beautiful, glorious music.”
Further Reading
What God has to Say About Our Bodies by Sam Allberry
Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Joy Welcher
The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl S. Trueman
The Imperfect Disciple by Jared Wilson
Taking Down Backpage by Maggy Krell (This is a book about taking down the largest human trafficking ring)
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