Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City
Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City: Teaching Historical, Economic, and Biological Truth in a World of Lies
By: Stacy Manning & Katy Faust
[Fulfilled ‘A book with footnotes’ prompt as part of Shelf Reflection’s 2025 Reading Challenge]
You read the title of this book and you know immediately it’s going to be a polarizing book. I think just using the word ‘woke’ raises feathers because of all the baggage and confusion that the word encompasses.
If this title offends you, then it’s probably not the book for you. It’s not a book that is trying to convince anyone of anything; they are not trying to change anyone’s mind. I’ve seen some reviewers say they disagreed with a lot of the book but still found some of the parenting strategies helpful. I guess you can decide if it’s worth a try.
I would say it is a book written specifically for parents who agree with conservative politics and want to know how to navigate a hostile environment that is at odds with these views. Parents who want to know how to help their kids thrive in a school environment that is teaching the opposite viewpoints.
“At the heart of this book is the belief that parents in communities overrun by the present cultural revolution have no choice but to go to war for their children. This means engaging one’s own children first on issues that we’d prefer that they not hear about until they are older. it means teaching them how to respond to Woke indoctrination and ensuring that they can hold their own against a predatory culture that seeks to turn them against what they have learned in their parents’ homes.”
So unless you are (or might become) one of those parents or you are curious about what those kind of parents care about, then I would venture to guess this book would probably frustrate you. Especially because Manning & Faust are going for a highly sarcastic, comedic type of writing style that even though most of the what they said I thought ‘preach!’ there were a few points that made me cringe.
I will be up front with where I’m at with this book. My goal in life is not to raise conservative soldiers. My aim and what I pray for regularly is that my children will grow up to be Christ-followers. That is the most important thing to me.
M&F live in Seattle. I live in Iowa— granted, probably one of the more liberal parts of Iowa— but I do not feel like I am in the same hostile environment as them. So far I have not felt like my kids’ school district has presented major ideological problems. Part of that is probably due to our Republican governor and because ideologies and cultural trends prevalent on the coasts take longer to infiltrate the Midwest.
I say all of this because my approach to this book is not in anger, desperation, or activism. But I have read plenty of books regarding all of the historical, economical, and biological views and I am not naive to think my kids are not already being inundated with ‘woke’ ideology (I understand the flinch of this word and will define it shortly). It is not of utmost importance, but it is still wise for me to consider the strategies presented by these authors that will help me navigate the waters of differing viewpoints and help me better teach my kids what I’d like them to know. And if we end up with a democratic governor, things could change in a blink of an eye and I’ll be glad that I’m prepared.
So what is ‘Woke’? What is ‘Conservatism’?
As usual, definitions are important. Woke is a buzzword and people make assumptions about whoever is using this word. M&F provide Wikipedia’s definition of woke but “alert to racial prejudice and discrimination” doesn’t quite capture the way the word is used. Wikipedia’s definition would not put left and right wing people immediately at odds.
The authors give their own definition of woke:
“Wokists hold a culturally hegemonic worldview that views every subject, institution, Netflix series, and human interaction through the lens of group identity, and then uses every weapon at its disposal to pit one group against the other under the guise of social justice…
You know you’re in the Woke’s presence when emotion instead of facts are the basis for their opinions and its dissenters are labeled ‘such-and-such-phobes’… [it] mandates every knee bow and every tongue confess its truth, and if you refuse to submit, the ‘love and tolerance’ mob will impose serious personal and professional consequences.”
They add a footnote to rightly clarify that not all leftists or liberals are woke and that when they use the term ‘wokist’ they are referring to “the people zealously promoting a Woke worldview”.
M&F’s definition doesn’t state the specific beliefs held, but Google offers some further clarification: supporters would say woke means “being well-informed and conscious of social and political issues concerning marginalized groups, including race, gender, and sexual orientation” and critics associate the term “with concepts like critical race theory, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), and identity politics, and is seen by some as divisive.”
The ideological differences are fleshed out throughout the book.
I would say one of the biggest problems in politics right now is the constant grouping of people into identifying categories and slapping labels on them with all kinds of assumptions of who they must be. We all do it and it only serves to make divisions wider.
I’m glad they chose to use the term ‘wokist’ instead of leftist or liberal or democrat because within those groups there are differing beliefs. By using wokist they are speaking about a group of people that is identified by their specific shared ideology. Therefore the authors are not really attacking people, as one of their chapters is titled, but attacking ideas.
“Attacking people only serves to reinforce your target’s opposition to your ideas and makes you their undying enemy.”
This ‘attacking ideas/arguments not people’ is a primary principle for both Alisa Childer’s and Mama Bear Apologetics’ work on these topics as well and they probably do a more tactful job with the execution of that.
Unfortunately, I would say the tone of this book and some of the authors’ comments probably toe the line of attacking people more than it probably should. It’s disappointing because I think some of their comments are absolutely in line and I’m not all about catering to people’s hurt feelings when they are celebrating sin, but because M&F went a bit over the top in some of their footnotes and comments directed (even at each other) the good is overshadowed by the flagrant. It’s all very intentional so I’m not sure the motivation behind the decisions other than they either honestly thought it would be taken as jokes or they are really leaning into their ‘I’m done with it!’ feelings.
It’s tricky because we could write a whole post just trying to define the words ‘hate’ and ‘love’ as there is a lot of disagreement on what those look like; just holding a conservative view on marriage and gender is seen as hate. There are some reviewers who look at M&Fs comments alongside their statements about how it’s hard to love our enemies or how we shouldn’t attack people and they see inconsistency. I can’t say they’re wrong, but I also think that those same people don’t quite understand what God’s love really means and requires. [Holier Than Thou may be a good book to consider for this.]
M&F say that one of the primary differences between conservatism and progressivism is that conservatives “view our rights as bestowed upon us by God and that our government is established to protect these God-given rights” (as opposed to the government being the grantor of our rights). Conservative ideology also “respects the unchanging, often ugly, condition of mankind.”
They emphasize that parents should be teaching kids what they are FOR. They describe in more detail eight areas where conservatives and progressives differ and go through these areas again in later chapters in varying age-appropriate ways.
I won’t recount them all here but here are a few things that define conservatism: national pride (for all countries) being a good thing; limited government; freedom of religion and keeping the government out of religion; man and woman being biologically different, distinct and unchanging; marriage being between a man and woman and a child having a right to both their father and mother; life beginning at conception; merit, not race, being the determining factor in hiring; equality in opportunity not equity in outcomes; free market economics not socialism.
My Reservations
This book has been sitting unread on my shelf since March. I finally added it to my backpack to read during my overseas trip in September. Five days into the trip, before I had gotten to the book, Charlie Kirk was assassinated. To make an understatement: his death has caused some ripples. Five days after that, I picked this book up to read as I had intended, but I had some hesitations.
I anticipate some judgments from others on reading this book. But I am going into this book with eyes open, being careful to not be consumed by the political feuding. It is not my charge to take Charlie Kirk’s place.
Charlie Kirk’s assassination was not, to me, a political statement. It definitely had political implications, but I saw it as an attempt by the devil to silence the truth of the biblical gospel and to thwart the advancement of God’s kingdom. It did not make me want to attack Democrats. It did not make me want to convert people to conservatism. It made me want to stand up for God’s truth and to teach it to my kids and share it with the world.
To be very clear: this book lives in the political and ideological sphere, not necessarily a biblical one. They mention church and God but their arguments are not presented here from a biblical authority, more a logical one. (For some reason they didn’t even capitalize Bible which is a proper noun. How’d they miss that?)
So the value of this book, to me, is not to send me as a soldier into the political sphere, but to help me guide my children in truth, building for them a foundation that will allow them to stand on God’s Word in an environment that is hostile to God’s truth.
The Lessons
So what do Manning & Faust say parents need to do?
They emphasize that parents ARE the program and we need to get to our kids FIRST.
We need to become experts in all these areas or at least have good resources to refer to when questions come up. We need to know the answers or how to get good answers.
And we need to be proactive in talking to our kids about our beliefs. The psychological primacy bias shows that kids tend to see whoever they hear things from first as the expert on the subject. It’s a tricky balance in knowing when to introduce things, but I think they would say to err on the side of too early rather than too-late.
“In an Information Age, it’s not a matter of getting information; it’s a question of which sources of information your kids will consider authoritative… You want them to trust you, consult you, and rely on you for trustworthy answers.”
Probably the most popular chapter of the book is when they introduce the no-flinch rule.
“Becoming the go-to person who can be asked ANYTHING is one of the most critical factors for success…”
The no-flinch rule means that no matter what they tell you or ask you, you remain calm and rational. If they feel your explosiveness or intense emotions, they will think twice before bringing something controversial up to you again.
“To clarify, No-Flinch is not the same as deadpan. You will need to show an appropriate emotional response… The emotion you display communicates that your kid was right to be uncomfortable… An adult’s failure to model and reflect the appropriate emotional response to injustice means children will be less sensitive to it themselves.”
Another chapter describes the slow hand-off. This is a four step gradual process of modeling, assisting, and cheering on:
I do, you watch (preschool, elementary)
I do, you help (tweens)
You do, I help (middle school)
You do, I watch (high school)
They have a section tailored to the three stages of development: Elementary, Middle, and High school. Within each section they take the eight areas of conservative ideals and show how you teach those ideas at those particular ages.
In elementary school our kids are like little sponges and so our job is to firehose them with all that is good and right and true. They refer to C.S. Lewis’s quote about truth: “A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line.” At this age we are showing them what a straight line should look like. It’s important to filter out ambiguous or confusing things that will keep them from understanding the straight line.
In middle school our kids are starting to use logic. Now that they have a firm foundation of truth and a straight stick, so to speak, we can begin introducing crooked sticks and helping them understand what makes them crooked. Instead of filtering out, we are helping them build their filter and recognize lies when they see them.
In high school our kids should have the tools they need to see truth and lie, but they still need our input. Our goal at this age is to stay connected. To make sure they know they are a priority to us and that we are there to listen whenever they have questions or need to talk. Our presence is important as they are becoming more independent and taking ownership of their beliefs.
My Critiques
Is this a perfect book? No. They made a bold choice in their writing style and it probably won’t always be your favorite. As I mentioned before, it seems they unapologetically threw politeness out the window. And to be honest, I can’t really blame them. But I do recognize that the downside to being real about ideas you think are evil or at the very least ‘not for human flourishing’, is that tone can really hurt your witness. I suppose as a counter to that— I don’t think they wrote this book to be a witness or even to be read by non-conservatives. So I don’t know. Mixed feelings.
One thing that stuck out to me that gave me pause was when they said ‘God said it. I believe it. That settles it.’ isn’t a good enough answer. That used to be a popular phrase and I can see that they’re saying- you have to know WHY you believe what you believe. I agree. But on some of these topics, the true answer to why we believe it is because God said it. And that has to be enough.
For example, there are logical reasons to hold the belief that marriage should be between a man and woman. That’s how life is created. But as Christians, our reason is foundationally because God defined it in the Bible for us in Genesis and then Jesus affirmed it again in the New Testament.
We should definitely do the work to know why we believe what we believe but I think it’s equally as important to teach your kids that ‘God saying so’ is a good enough reason to believe it. We don’t always know the why behind God’s design but in the end, our ultimate authority has to be God, not our logic, not the internet, not our feelings, not the many intelligent apologists writing books. Just God and his Word. (At least on the subjects that are clearly laid out in Scripture. Economic things probably won’t always have ‘God said it’ answers.)
I think I would also add that I will be teaching my kids that it’s not up to them to change people’s minds. We can be courageous truth tellers and evangelizers, but our ultimate goal and measure of success can’t be how many people they ‘converted’ to conservative ideals or even biblical ones. Only God can change hearts and minds so they should know the freedom in that and shouldn’t feel the burden of ‘taking on the whole school’.
In the section about high school they basically say that your child’s sense of morality is already set and it’s worthless to try to ‘teach them’ anything at this stage. I don’t doubt that it’s harder to change what has already been developed, but I wish they would have had some more advice or encouragement for parents who are reading this book with high school students and feeling concerned that it’s ‘too late’ for their kids if they haven’t already been doing the things.
The authors highly recommend Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. I’m not so totally against this book like some people are, but I think there are probably better options out there now like Reclaiming Masculinity and Wild Things.
There was a footnote (I think it was a footnote) that said, “We too feel that everyone and everything is against us. Probably because it is.” This rubbed me the wrong way. It felt like it was too similar to victimhood culture. We do (and always will) face opposition and I would say conservative ideology is becoming less and less popular, but it’s a bit dramatic to say that everyone is against us. Hyperbole like that, though we may feel it in our soul, is not usually helpful and is a thought we should probably take captive.
One last thing in this section: I advise anyone reading this book to periodically set it down, take a deep breath, and tell yourself ‘everything is going to be okay.’ The tone of writing, the intensity of the content, and the already anxious feelings of wanting to be a good parent and raise good kids can make reading this book feel very overwhelming.
I don’t think M&F are doing it on purpose or are trying to create fear. I think they are both just so passionate about what they are doing and wanting to equip parents that it can just feel like a lot.
Don’t let this book overwhelm you. Take it in pieces if you have to. Discuss it with other parents who have the same beliefs as you (i.e. the Find Your People Chapter). And just know that the biggest takeaway you should get from this book is that it’s your job as your child’s parent to know what’s going on, to teach them truth, and to be present in their lives. How exactly you go about those things will differ from family to family. You don’t have to complete every strategy in here to a T. Your kids won’t be exactly like their kids. That’s okay.
The idea is to embolden parents and remind them that they CAN do this and their kids need them to. If you aren’t teaching your kids, someone or something else is. As it is said, you can’t prepare the road for your child, you prepare your child for the road. We don’t want to be parents that think ‘we aren’t going to get into politics and we can just avoid everything we don’t like.’ That’s not a good strategy. The road is the road and we can’t control it. But we can lovingly prepare our children to walk it and to walk it with them.
Other Books and Resources
They provide a lot of resources and reference a lot of books. I’ll share some of their resources here as well as books they referenced that I’ve reviewed and some other books they didn’t mention but that I think are still really helpful!
The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self by Carl Trueman (or a shorter, less academic version: Strange New World) (on identity and emotional expressivism)
Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher (on socialism and totalitarianism)
Discrimination and Disparities by Thomas Sowell (on inequality)
Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier (about the craze of transgenderism)
Mama Bear Apologetics and Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality
Cynical Theories by James Lindsay and Helen Pluckrose (on all things critical theory without biblical input)
Critical Dilemma by Neil Shenvi (on all things critical theory with biblical input)
The Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt and Gregg Lukianoff (on freedom of speech and cognitive biases)
Raising Confident Kids in a Confusing World by Ed Drew
How the Nations Rage by Jonathan Leeman (about Christians in a politically divided age)
The Intolerance of Tolerance by D.A. Carson
Live Your Truth (and Other Lies) by Alisa Childers
Confronting Injustice without Compromising Truth by Thaddeus J. Williams
The Gathering Storm by Albert Mohler
Parenting without Panic in an LGBT-Affirming World by Rachel Gilson
What Do I Say When…?: A Parents’ Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children & Teens by Andrew T. Walker & Christian Walker
Still the Best Hope by Dennis Prager (on the American system)
How to Destroy America in Three Easy Steps by Ben Shapiro
Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearcey (marriage and gender)
Louder with Crowder videos (his ‘change my mind videos)
Canavox website (social issues)
They suggest reading essays from 1776 Unites
They recommend Stephanie Gray’s talking points on responding to the top pro-choice arguments
PragerU for all kinds of topics
Monique Duson’s book review on The Hate U Give
Them Before Us on the nature of the family, adoption, IVF, surrogacy, divorce
For kids on history and America: Rush Revere Book series, Heroes of Liberty series
Recommendation
“Individuals have a powerful impact on the world, and you have a powerful impact on the children under your roof… Your family may be the smallest of institutions, but it is the most crucial when it comes to replicating values.”
I definitely recommend this book for parents whose beliefs are at odds with woke ideology and who want to know how to teach their kids the difference.
[Again, if you are not a conservative, I can’t really imagine why you would read this unless you are curious about what conservatives care about.]
But be encouraged, you are not alone, you shouldn’t do this alone, and everything is going to be okay. You love your kids more than anyone else and as long as you are active in their life, teaching them your values, and being present, you are doing enough.
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