Fruitful Children: Teaching Our Kids about the Fruit of the Spirit
By: Brittany Shields
[Original post written 2/13/23 but was updated 10/20/26]
Introduction:
As I was writing my series on the fruit of the Spirit I started noticing more opportunities to talk to my kids about these qualities and to explain how the Holy Spirit helps change us to be more like Christ.
I thought it would be fun to create a ‘kids version’ of this series that kids can do alongside their parents.
The framework I used for the Fruitful Motherhood series was to look at:
how GOD displays each characteristic
what behaviors we can PRUNE
what it looks like to GROW and BEAR THE FRUIT in our context
verses to NOURISH and FORTIFY the soil of our soul
a prayer to help us re-center our motives and remind us of the Spirit’s power
I haven’t listed each of these out in the same way, but feel free to adapt what is given here to follow the ‘gardening and growing’ type of theme.
These devotionals will show how we are like Jesus when we exhibit these characteristics and how to do it in the context of being a kid. There are verses to read together, a prayer to help them learn to pray, and an optional song to sing about God’s faithfulness or love, etc. (YouTube playlist HERE) I also created a fun coloring page you can download and print for them to color!
My kids have memorized these traits very easily by doing an action for each one. I’ve included a picture of an action we use for each quality. There are plenty of songs out there too if you want to look for something more musical.
Note: This may be too much information to share with your kids all at once.
I would suggest taking a day or a week to study and work on each one. You can read each section word for word or use it as a template to phrase things your own way.
The goal is not to heap unachievable expectations on our kids or cause them to think the only way to be saved is to do these things perfectly.
We should remind our kids that the only way to be saved from our sin is confessing it and having faith in Jesus that he paid the cost of our sin by dying on the cross: “If we confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)
The fruit of the Spirit is what naturally happens when we are devoted to loving Jesus and being like him; it’s the effect of being saved, not the cause for being saved. The only way to exemplify these traits is by the power of the Spirit. These things are too hard for us to do on our own so it’s great to start our kids early on asking the Holy Spirit for help.
The goal is to help our kids identify God’s character and to learn how that can play out in their lives and context. It’s amazing how often these things come up in the day-to-day life if we are looking for opportunities to reflect God’s character.
If your children aren’t ready to learn all of this yet, you can still use this as a guide for how to pray over your children.
STAY TUNED: I am currently working on launching an Etsy shop that will have a puzzle and activity pack I created to be used with this devotional!
Who is the Holy Spirit?
Starter Activity: You could begin by playing a little game of Simon Says. Later you can connect how just like you only do what Simon says to do in the game, we want to imitate Jesus and only do what God tells us to do.
Have you heard of the Holy Spirit?
Did you know he’s God? There are three persons in the one true God: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit.
[I know it’s hard to explain the Trinity to a child, go as deep or shallow as you want on this; the main point is for your child to know that the Holy Spirit is a person, not a force, and that He’s God]
(Read John 15-16) After Jesus died and rose from the dead he needed to go back to heaven. He said he had to go back to heaven so that he could send us his Spirit— our Helper.
The Holy Spirit helps us understand God and the Bible. He helps us know what is a truth or lie, what is right or wrong. When we feel like we want to make a bad choice, the Holy Spirit helps us to make the right choice.
You already know that you grow bigger and taller, you may even mark it on a wall somewhere in your house. But you also grow in other ways! We can grow in righteousness.
Righteousness means ‘being RIGHT with God.’ When we believe and trust in Jesus, our hearts grow more and more to look like HIS heart. Because we love God so much and are so thankful for what he did for us on the cross, we want to do and say and think things that are right and true and good. We imitate (try to be like) people we love.
The Bible says (Jn 15) that God is the tree or the vine and we are the branches. When we are rooted in God— connected to God— we will grow and bear fruit.
Galatians 5:22-23 says, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
When we grow in righteousness we are more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. When we listen to God about what is true and right we start to look more like Him!
And that’s what God wants for us.
Can you think of a time when you were about to make a bad choice but you chose the right thing instead? That was the Holy Spirit helping you to follow God’s plan to choose the right thing.
Just like cars are powered by gas or a toy is powered by batteries, as Christians, we are powered by the Holy Spirit!
Let’s pray and thank God for sending us a Helper. Let’s ask Him to help us be good listeners to hear the Holy Spirit’s voice guiding us in truth and righteousness.
Songs: [Reminder that you can access a playlist of all of the songs on YouTube HERE]
Holy Spirit, Living Breath of God by Keith & Kristyn Getty
Spirit of the Living God by Vertical Worship
LOVE
Starter Questions: Think of someone you know that loves you. How do you know that they love you? How do you show them that you love them back?
Love is the first one in the list and that makes sense because love connects all the other traits in the list.
Love is relational— that means it is about how we relate to other people. You can’t love by yourself; that’s not real love. Love requires someone else to love.
Did you know that Jesus is the best example of love?!
Can you think of something Jesus did that was loving?
One of the biggest ways Jesus showed us he loved us was when he died on the cross for our sins. When he did this he showed us sacrificial love and forgiveness. He put us before himself. He forgave our sins.
Have you ever said ‘Me first!’? Sometimes we fight with our friends or siblings about what game to play, or whose idea we should build first, or what movie or show we want to watch.
We like to have our own way, don’t we?
But when we say ‘Me first!’ and try to get what we want all the time, we aren’t showing love because we’re only thinking about ourselves. We aren’t thinking about what is best for other people too.
To love someone is to want what is best for the other person. Loving someone doesn’t just mean making someone feel good. Real love is about what is true and good for that person.
You may think your parents aren’t being very loving when they don’t let you eat candy all day or stay up really late or play ball in the street. When you don’t get what you want, you might not feel good, but sometimes loving someone means not giving someone what they want because it’s not what’s best for them. Your parents are loving you by making sure you get healthy food and not just candy. They are loving you by making sure your body gets the rest it needs to be healthy. They are loving you by making sure you’re not in the dangerous street where you could get hurt. They love you by wanting what’s best for you!
When you’re a kid, you’re not in charge of what your friends eat or when they go to bed so you may not be able to show the same kind of love as your parents, but you can still show sacrificial love when you put others first.
You can show love to your brother or sister when you sacrifice and say, ‘I love you and I want to show you I love you so let’s watch the movie YOU want to watch!’
You can show love to your friends when you hand them the toy you both want and say, ‘Here, I really love this toy, but you can have the first turn!’
Can you think of any other ways we can put others first?
The other thing Jesus showed us was forgiveness.
You can probably think of a time where your feelings were hurt by something someone said to you. Or maybe you were hurt when someone pushed you or took something that was yours.
Did you offer them forgiveness?
Sometimes it’s hard to forgive other people, especially when we’re really hurt or they don’t even say sorry. We may even want to get revenge or hit back. But that’s not loving. God is just and he will make all things right eventually. We can trust him with that.
We should still forgive because Jesus forgives us. Over and over again.
[Depending on the situation, you may also need to help your child set boundaries and remind them how friends should treat each other. Forgiveness does not mean that they must still spend all their time with that particular friend or that they must accept abuse.]
Love is first in the list, but we aren’t done with love yet. See if you can see how love connects to the other fruit that we talk about.
When we think of fruit we think of lots of different kinds of fruit: grapes, apples, strawberries, etc. But the fruit of the Spirit is more like nine slices from the same apple. We can’t really have one without the others. They all come from the same source: the Holy Spirit.
God is love. God loves us. And loving people like God loves people is one of the main ways we show the fruit of the Spirit.
Read these verses together:
“God is love.” (1 Jn 4:16)
“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 Jn 4:9-11)
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.” (1 Cor 13:4-7, MSG)
When we pray we can use the acronym P.R.A.Y.! [This acronym was taken from this P.R.A.Y. Pals book for kids]
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, for how loving you are. Thank you so much for dying on the cross and forgiving my sins. You are so powerful!
Repent: I’m sorry that I haven’t been very loving to my siblings or my friends. I’m sorry that sometimes I’m only thinking about myself and what I want. I’m sorry that I haven’t forgiven others like you’ve forgiven me. Forgive me for not showing love.
Ask: Please help me to show your love to others and to think about what’s best for them too, not just myself. Help me to forgive others even when my feelings are hurt. Help me to trust that you will make all things better.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Songs:
The Proof of Your Love by For King + Country
Better Love by Green River Ordinance
Forgiven and Loved by Jimmy Needham
Love: Cross your arms across your chest.
Click to print!
JOY
Starter Questions: What things make you feel happy? What things make you feel sad?
There are lots of things aren’t there! Do you think you spend more time thinking about things that make you happy or things that make you sad or angry? Why do you think that is?
Do you know what I do sometimes when I don’t like something? I complain. Do you ever complain?
And sometimes we might use a whiny voice? If you heard someone using a whiny voice would you think- that person is joyful! No, you wouldn’t would you, because they’re talking about and thinking about what they don’t like, right?
Did you know that you can CHOOSE to have joy even if you don’t feel happy? It’s true! We can choose to have joy even when things aren’t going the way we want them to. I’ll tell you why.
Psalm 16:11 says “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
The person who wrote this song is saying that God is joy! It tells us that just being with God makes us happy. And how often is God with us? All the time!
If we aren’t feeling very joyful or happy, we’re probably focusing on the wrong things and comparing our life with someone else’s.
A man named Jeremiah Burroughs told the story of a man who was very, very hungry. So he went outside and opened his mouth really wide and sucked up a whole bunch of wind! Do you think that man was still hungry or did the wind fill him up? He was still hungry! Because even though he got a lot of wind, that’s not really what he needed to be satisfied.
Usually when we are upset with the way things are or disappointed that our mom and dad said ‘no’ to something, we have forgotten about what’s the most important thing— being satisfied with just being in the presence of God. He is all we need and he will provide all that we need.
That might be hard to understand since we can’t see God standing next to us. But one way we can remember how ‘full’ God makes us is by practicing thankfulness.
When we start to complain because we can’t have more, or we can’t do what our friends are doing, or we can’t go where we want to go, we need to stop and think about what we DO have. Thank God for what you already have, the places you HAVE gotten to go, the people who love you. Thank God for who he is and what he did for you.
We can choose to be happy because we can choose to focus on God who is always with us.
We don’t want to treat God like he’s not good enough for us. Every good thing comes from God and we will start to feel joy when we think about how much God loves us and all the good things he’s blessed us with.
What are some things that you are thankful for?
Read these verses together:
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.” (1 Tim 6:17-19)
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Phil 4:11)
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rm 15:13)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, for your goodness and your generosity! I thank you for always providing what I need; that your presence is with me all the time. I know you will always take care of me. I thank you for joy and all the things that make me smile and laugh and feel good.
Repent: I’m sorry for making other things more important than you. I’m sorry for not thanking you for all your blessings. Forgive me for not being content with everything I already have.
Ask: Please help me to remember to choose joy even when things aren’t going my way. Help me to trust that you are enough for me and that you will give me everything I need. Help me not to compare my life with others’ but trust that you have a plan for my life.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Songs:
Can’t Steal My Joy by Josiah Queen
Counting My Blessings by Seph Schlueter
Joy: Point to your smile.
Click to print!
PEACE
Starter Activity: You could play a game of War with a deck of cards or just talk about the game. Your cards are ‘fighting’ against the other cards and whoever has the highest number wins. You and your opponent are on opposing sides, ‘enemies’.
War is a word that means the opposite of peace.
Peace is about unity.
Unity is about bringing different parts together to make one strong, loving ‘whole.’
When God first created the world, he created it with order. It was all good. Just like him.
But when sin came into the world, peace was disrupted. The unity was broken because people sinned against God and against each other.
Jesus promises to come back and make the world completely at peace again, but until then we will have brokenness in our lives and in the world.
Thankfully, we have the Spirit who still offers us peace—togetherness— even when there is brokenness.
The first way to have peace is between us and God— we can be reconciled with God. Reconciled is a big word that is like hugging after a fight. Our sin makes us enemies of God, but when we trust and believe in Jesus, we aren’t enemies anymore, we’re like family. To be at peace with God is to stop fighting him.
This gives us peace in our hearts because we trust God that he will take care of us. We don’t have to be afraid or anxious.
What’s awesome about God is that he is so powerful and wise and he knows everything! He is sovereign which means he’s in charge of every single thing. So we don’t have to worry or be afraid of things that go wrong in the world because we are confident in God’s plan and his power to make it all right again.
God will always win. That makes us feel at peace because God is on our side and he fights for us and cares for us.
Another way to have peace is between us and other people.
To show peace to other people we need to treat others with kindness and goodness (which we will learn more about later). Just like we need to stop fighting God, we need to stop fighting other people.
We can keep unity by being careful of what we say and do so that we don’t hurt one another.
And if we still find ourselves fighting, we should be ready to apologize when we hurt others, even if we didn’t mean to do it.
True apologies help us reconcile and gives us unity again.
Read these verses together:
“Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” (2 Cor 13:11)
“Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.” (1 Pt 3:10-11)
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (Jn 16:33)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are in charge of everything! How powerful and wise you are! Thank you for making a way for me to be your family instead of your enemy. Thank you for being a God who heals what is broken.
Repent: I’m sorry that I still get mad at you sometimes. Forgive me for still acting like an enemy when I get mad or scared. Forgive me for not being at peace with other people either because I hurt them or because I won’t forgive them.
Ask: Please help me to be a person who says sorry when I do wrong. Help me to want people to be unified. Help me to remember that you are in charge of everything and that I can trust you with whatever brokenness I face. Lord, please come and heal all this brokenness.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day. I trust you with tomorrow.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Songs:
It Is Well With My Soul by Horatio Spafford
Peace Be Still by The Belonging Co. ft. Lauren Daigle
All the Way My Savior Leads Me by Chris Tomlin
Peace: Hold up the peace sign.
Click to print!
PATIENCE
Starter Questions: What is something you have had to wait a really long time for? What do you do while you’re waiting?
We have to do a lot of waiting in our lives, don’t we?
You’ve probably heard your mom or dad say ‘be patient!’ many times.
And we don’t like that. When we want something, we want it right away! If we’re hungry, we want a snack right now. When we want a show, we want to watch it right now. We want Christmas and our birthdays to happen right now.
Waiting is really hard. Especially when we don’t know how long we have to wait for.
But even if we don’t like how we feel when we have to wait, waiting can be a good thing.
God created our lives to have a lot of waiting so being able to be patient and wait must be really important to him.
Waiting helps us to trust God and depend on Him for what we need. It reminds us that he’s in charge, not us.
Some of the sin in our hearts is because we want to be in charge of everything. We want to control everything that happens. And we think we have the best ideas of what would be good for our lives. We want to be the ones to say ‘right now’ or ‘not yet.’
But that’s God’s job, not ours.
God is the most patient!
We read in the Bible how the Israelites kept disobeying God and complaining to God when they didn’t like what was happening. They kept saying to God— How much longer?? Have you forgotten us??— And when they felt like God was taking too long to give them what they wanted or they thought God must have forgotten about them, they did things their own way and disobeyed God.
But God still loved his people and was patient with them. He kept waiting for them to come back and worship him and make right choices. He does the same with us.
We should be patient like God is patient!
We can show patience by trusting God even while we have to wait for things we want.
We can show patience by trusting our parents while we have to wait for things we want.
It’s hard to let others be in charge of us, but we are showing obedience and respect to God, our parents, our teachers, or other people in charge when we wait patiently.
Waiting patiently does not mean we complain or we beg the whole time we wait.
It means we use what’s called ‘grit.’ Grit is being able to endure hard things. Like when you were learning how to ride a bike and you kept falling down. You had grit every time you got back up and tried again. Or when you put a hard puzzle together and you couldn’t find the piece you were looking for. You had grit the whole time you kept looking until you found the right piece.
Patience requires grit. Not giving up, but enduring until it’s the right time.
And every time you trust God in the waiting, you are looking more like Jesus!
Read these verses together:
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Ps 103:8)
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Rm 12:12)
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Gal 6:9)
“Jesus answered him ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” (Jn 13:7)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are patient with me! Even when I make mistakes or I disobey, you forgive me and you wait for me to come back to you. Thank you for your mercy. I praise you for being in charge! Even though I don’t always act like I believe this, I know that you do the best job at being in charge.
Repent: I’m sorry that I am impatient and that I don’t trust you when I have to wait. Forgive me for demanding to get my way right when I want it. Forgive me for that selfishness.
Ask: Please help me to be better at waiting. Help me to have grit to endure the hard times because I know that your timing is perfect. Help me to be respectful to my parents and teachers who ask me to be patient because I know when I obey them, I am obeying you too.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day. I trust you with all the waiting.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Songs:
Trust in You by Lauren Daigle
While I’m Waiting by John Waller
Patience: Tap your wrist like a watch.
Click to print!
KINDNESS & GOODNESS
Starter Questions: Give an example of a scenario (a kid with a scrape or a kid standing alone in a crowd) and ask your kids what each person in the scenario might be feeling. What do you think the difference between kindness and goodness is?
Kindness and Goodness go together! Sometimes it’s hard to tell them apart. We want to be both kind and good to others.
Kindness is when we care about other people’s feelings.
Goodness is when we actually do something to help others.
Can you think of a time when you were kind or good? What was the other person feeling?
Sometimes it’s easy to only think about our own feelings because we can have really big feelings. But we need to remember that other people have feelings too, and we want to make sure that we are treating other people with kindness and goodness.
You might have heard someone say ‘God is good’ and another person respond with ‘All the time.’ It is true that God is good all the time because ‘goodness’ is part of his character and his character doesn’t change.
There are lots and lots of places in the Bible that talk about God’s goodness, how he was watching out for his people, taking care of them. But sometimes it didn’t always look like goodness at first.
You may have heard of a boy named Joseph in the Bible. He had a really colorful coat. But his 11 brothers didn’t like him and his coat because they thought their dad liked Joseph the best and they were jealous. So they decided to do a really bad thing and kidnap Joseph to sell him to people who would take him away forever. They thought they got away with it, and Joseph ended up in jail in Egypt, far from home.
That doesn’t sound good does it?
But even in this thing, God was always good because he had a plan. He wanted Joseph to be in Egypt because God was going to help Joseph get out of prison and become a leader in Egypt. When Joseph became a leader in Egypt there was a famine in the land— which means there wasn’t very much food. Joseph’s whole family (he had a really big family) back home was starving but because Joseph was in charge of Egypt’s food, he was able to bring his family to Egypt and help them survive.
Joseph tells his brothers- “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive” (Genesis 50:20)
God does so many good things that we don’t even realize!
And just like God is good and kind, we should be good and kind.
We can be kind and good with both the things that we say and the things that we do.
Our words are powerful. We should use them to encourage and include others, to tell them what we like about them or tell them they did a good job. Our actions are powerful too. We may tell someone something nice, but if we turn around and steal something from them our actions and words aren’t lining up and that is hurtful.
We can show kindness and goodness in our actions by sharing with others, by giving gifts, playing together, helping friends when they are hurt, or even cleaning up messes that aren’t ours.
One of the hardest parts of being kind and good is that sometimes others don’t really appreciate us when we’re kind or good. They may not even notice when we do nice things.
Maybe you clean up your brother or sister’s game for them and put it away without them asking you to. That would be kind and good! But maybe they don’t tell you thank you. Maybe no one even notices that you did it! You may want to think, ‘They didn’t say thank you! I’m not doing that again!’
But just like God shows us kindness and goodness when we don’t thank him or notice what he’s doing, we need to do that too. We should be kind and good even if people aren’t grateful or don’t notice.
Do you know who will always notice if you are kind and good? God will! We don’t show love, and peace, and kindness just because we want other people to think we’re good people, we do it because we love God and we want to show God that we love him by obeying him. Even if nobody notices.
Read these verses together:
“You are good, and do good; teach me Your statutes.” (Psalm 119:68)
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph 2:10)
“Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” (Lk 6:35)
“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” (Prov 21:21)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are so kind and so good! You are always watching out for me and your plans are always for my good. Thank you for still showing me kindness even when I don’t thank you or show appreciation for your good gifts. You are so gracious.
Repent: I’m sorry that I am often too selfish to be kind or good to others. Forgive me for caring more about my own feelings than others. Forgive me for giving up on being kind when I don’t get noticed for it.
Ask: Please help me to think about what other people might be feeling and to notice opportunities to help them. Help me to be bold in showing kindness and goodness even if no one notices. Give me strength and courage to do it day after day so I don’t get tired.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Songs:
Good, Good Father by Chris Tomlin
Goodness of God by CeCe Winans
One thumbs up for kindness, bring your second one up for goodness.
Click to print!
FAITHFULNESS
Starter Questions: What is a promise you made to someone? Was it hard to keep that promise?
Faithfulness is a big word! Do you know what it means to be faithful?
To be faithful is to tell the truth. To be faithful is also to do what you say you’re going to do.
One of the awesome things about God is that he always does what he promises. We read about hundreds of promises in the Bible that he makes to people (and to us!) and he did everything he said he would do! That makes God faithful because we can depend on him and we can trust his word.
God can never lie.
But we’re not God. We sin. So sometimes we tell lies or we make promises we can’t keep. That makes it hard for people to trust us.
Who is someone you trust? Why is it important to be able to trust someone? Do you want people to trust you when you say something?
Trust is really important and it’s hard to get it back once you lose it. We need to be careful with our words and try to always be honest, even when it’s hard.
If we break something or make a wrong choice, we often think we should lie about it so that we don’t get in trouble. Your mom and dad might be sad to learn about the mistake or the wrong choice, but they will love you no matter what and they would rather you tell the truth about what happened than lie.
When we tell the truth and apologize for our mistakes, we get the chance to be forgiven and forgiveness is a good thing! If we keep lies in our hearts it makes us feel worse because we know we’re keeping something from someone. We need forgiveness to help our hearts feel better.
Besides telling the truth, another way to show faithfulness is doing what you say you will do. We show wisdom by only making promises we can keep. [You could spend a minute here thinking of silly or outrageous things to promise]
If you tell your mom or dad that you will pick up your room after supper, then after supper, you better do it! Of course, sometimes we can forget things and there is grace for that, but our lives should show a pattern of keeping our word.
Every time you make a promise to someone or you tell the truth about a mistake, remember that God always keeps his promises to you and that he will always forgive you, too! How good it is that we have a trustworthy God!
Read these verses together:
“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” (1 Thess 5:24)
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest with much.” (Lk 16:10)
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lam 3:22-23)
“Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” (1 Pt 4:19)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are a God of truth! You are trustworthy and you always keep your promises. Even when I am not faithful to you, you are still faithful to me. Thank you for your love and mercy.
Repent: I’m sorry that I lie sometimes. I know it’s wrong but I’m scared of getting in trouble. Forgive me for not being honest and for not keeping my word. I want to be a person who others can trust.
Ask: Please help me to want forgiveness more than avoiding getting in trouble. Help me to love telling the truth, even about my own mistakes. Help me to be wise with my words and my choices so that I am able to do what I say I’m going to do. Help me point people to your truthfulness by being truthful to others.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day.
In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Songs:
Do It Again by Elevation Worship
Firm Foundation by Maverick City
the timeless hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness
Faithfulness: Tap your heart with your hand.
Click to print!
GENTLENESS
Starting Questions: Have you ever gone to a petting zoo? What was that like? How did you pet the animals?
When we are around little animals or little babies, we try to be very gentle don’t we? We don’t want to hurt or scare them so we are quiet with our voices and our hands are slow and soft, right?
It might be easier to be gentle with little babies because we know they are fragile, but did you know we should be gentle with older kids too?
Has anyone ever hit you or yelled at you? How did that make you feel? Have you ever hit or yelled? What were you feeling when you did that?
A lot of times we hit or we yell when we’re really mad or frustrated or if we feel like someone else isn’t listening to us. We feel like we need to do something to get their attention or to release our big, mad feelings.
And sometimes when we choose to hit or yell, it makes us feel better! But just because it makes us feel better, doesn’t mean we should do it, right? Hitting and yelling is not a good way to treat other people.
We want to be like Jesus.
Do you think Jesus was gentle? He was! The Bible describes Jesus’s heart as “gentle and lowly.” (Matthew 11:28-29) He tells people to come to him and he will give them rest from hard things. Gentle and lowly means that Jesus cares for people like a shepherd. He is not a God that is far away and doesn’t care about his creation. No, he came close to us and watches over us. He finds the little lost lamb and carries him home. The sheep feel safe with their shepherd. We feel safe with Jesus, don’t we?
So if we want to be like Jesus, we want to be people that offer gentle safety to others.
Do you think your friends will like to play with you if they are worried you may hit them or yell at them? We don’t want to hurt other people with our hands or our words. We don’t want others to be afraid of us.
Did you know that Jesus was gentle even to the people who wanted to hurt him? The people yelled at Jesus and wanted to kill him. But even when they put him on the cross, Jesus still loved them.
It sounds hard for us to think about loving our enemies, but that’s what God wants us to do. When other kids say mean things to us or push us, God doesn’t want us to be mean back or try to get revenge. We don’t have to keep playing with mean friends, but we can walk away without saying or doing something mean back to them.
Did you know that it takes a lot of strength to be gentle? We might think gentle means weak, but it doesn’t! Gentleness requires controlled strength. We have to be strong to forgive, to have mercy on others, and to walk away from confrontation. It takes strength to have gentle words when we really want to yell them instead.
If we want to be more like Jesus we need to have gentle hands and gentle voices. We need to be a safe person for others to talk to.
And when we feel our big, mad feelings boiling up inside our hearts, instead of releasing them by hitting or yelling, we can pray and ask God to help us calm down. We can also ask our mom and dad to help us think of good strategies we can use in these tricky situations.
It may feel like the kids who are being mean are winning if we don’t retaliate, but remember how we are going to trust God to make all things right? We can trust him in this, too. It’s always a good choice to be like Jesus, even if it doesn’t feel like winning.
[As I disclaimered above— Depending on the situation, you may also need to help your child set boundaries and remind them how friends should treat each other. Gentleness doesn’t mean we have to let bullies hurt us or that we can’t get help when kids are being mean.]
Read these verses together:
“Though the Lord is high, he regards the lowly…” (Ps 138:6)
“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” (1 Pt 3:15)
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Prov 15:11)
“And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.” (2 Tim 2:24-25)
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are a good Shepherd! I love how you come near to us and comfort us and watch over us. Thank you for being gentle with me even when I get angry or hurt people. Thank you for your forgiveness and love.
Repent: I’m sorry that I hurt people with my words and my body. When I get mad it’s hard for me to control myself and sometimes I say really mean things or I hit people. I’m sorry for doing that. Forgive me for not being gentle. Forgive me for not being a safe place for people.
Ask: Please help me to be gentle and loving. Help me not hurt people when I am angry. Give me strength to be able to forgive, to show mercy, and to control my words and body.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day. I trust you to make all things right.
In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Songs:
Good Plans by Red Rocks Worship
Psalm 23 from the Young David movie
Psalm 23 by Phil Wickham
Gently move two fingers from elbow to wrist twice.
Click to print!
SELF-CONTROL
Starter Questions: Have you ever ridden a horse before? What was it like? If you haven’t ridden a horse, imagine what would be fun or scary about it.
Did you know that self-control is like riding a horse?
Horses are big and fast, aren’t they? Imagine if you climbed up on a big horse and it took off running across a field and into a forest and close to a cliff and you didn’t know how to stop it. Would that feel scary?
That would! That’s why when people ride horses they have to have special equipment. They have a saddle to sit on, and then they use something called a bridle and a bit. The bit is a little rubber bar that goes in the horses’ mouth. The bit is connected to the bridle which is something that goes over the horses’ head and around their ears. The bridle has reins which are straps that reach back for the rider to hold. [It would be good to show a picture of this if you can.]
The person riding the horse uses the reins to control the horse’s direction or to tell the horse to slow down.
Using the reins to control a horse is like how we have to use self-control to control our feelings.
If we let our feelings be in charge and choose what direction we go and what we do, it’s like a wild horse going all over the place and being dangerous.
With each of the fruit of the Spirit we have already talked about how we need to be careful of our actions and our words. This is called self-control.
Having gentle hands and voices when we’re mad is self-control.
Telling the truth instead of lying when we’re scared is self-control.
Being able to wait patiently for a snack when we’re hungry is self-control.
Letting someone else have the first turn instead of taking it for ourselves is self-control.
Self-control doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. It just means we don’t let our feelings be in charge.
Remember when we talked about how Jesus was yelled at and beaten and put on the cross to die but he didn’t yell at them or use his power to hurt them back? He could have, right? He has all the power and he could have saved himself from going through all of that, but he chose not to. He exercised self-control because he knew what he had to do and he did it in love.
Did you know that the Bible says we need to take up our crosses and be like Jesus? (Luke 9:23) That doesn’t mean we have to actually die on a cross like Jesus. What it means is something called ‘self-denial.’ Another word we’ve already talked about that’s similar is ‘sacrificial.’ It’s saying ‘no’ to our selfishness and putting others first. It’s not letting our own feelings and desires be in charge.
We don’t practice self-control in the same way as Jesus. Jesus is never selfish or sinful so he is not fighting his own selfishness like we are, but he is still practicing sacrificial love and saying ‘yes’ to God’s will.
When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane before he was crucified he prayed to God the Father, and Jesus said, “Not my will, but your will be done.” (Luke 22:42)
If we are going to be like Jesus, we have to say ‘Not my way, but your way, Jesus.’
So how do we know what God’s will is?
We read the Bible! He tells us in the Bible what he wants us to do and what we should be like. That’s how we know about the fruit of the Spirit and the character of God. The more we get to know God through the Bible, love God, and worship God, the more we will look like God and the more we will want what God wants.
This helps us grow in self-control because we keep saying ‘yes’ to God instead of ‘yes’ to ourselves. We have to be willing to sacrifice our own way to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.
And did you know that every time you choose God’s way over your own way, it makes you stronger and more able to make the good choice next time? It’s like lifting weights. It’s hard, but it makes us stronger!
We talked about grit already; self-control takes grit too! To keep choosing God’s way instead of our own, even when it’s really hard.
So you see how important self-control is for alllll the other fruit we talked about.
We have to keep reining in the wild horse of our feelings and deciding which path to take that lines up with what God wants us to do.
Read these verses together:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil 4:8)
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age…” (Titus 2:11-12)
“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Pt 1:5-8)
“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything… Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:12, 19-20)
Praise: I praise you, Jesus, because you are powerful and loving. You endured dying on the cross when you could have saved yourself. Thank you for sacrificing yourself to save me! I praise you because you are perfect and sinless. Your ways are always good.
Repent: I’m sorry that I give in to my selfishness and let my big feelings lead me to hurt people and to disobey. I don’t want my feelings to be in charge. Forgive me for thinking that my ways are the best ways.
Ask: Please help me to be more self-controlled. Help me to say ‘yes’ to your way instead of my own. Give me strength to hold the reins and give me wisdom to know and choose the right path. Help me grow in all of the fruit of the Spirit so I can be more like you. Help me to obey and to remember that obedience isn’t my way of earning your love but is how I can show you that I love you.
Yield: I choose to say ‘Yes!’ to you and your way, Jesus. I know your way is better than mine. I want to look more like you every day. Thank you for loving me and forgiving me even when I mess up and I make the wrong choice. I know when I get to heaven I won’t have to fight my sin anymore, and I am thankful that you gave me the Holy Spirit to help me keep fighting my sin until I get there. I love you.
In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Songs:
Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me by City Alight
I Surrender by Hillsong
Your Way’s Better by Forrest Frank
Adonai by Josiah Queen
Self- Control: Pretend to hold reins in front of you and pull your arms back to your sides like reining in a horse.
Click to print!
If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it to your social media or others who would benefit from it! I hope it makes it easier to talk to your kids about an important thing that too often feels rote. This side of heaven we will continue to pursue this fruit our whole lives— we should start a children young in identifying ways to do that.
If you are interested, below are the links to each of the devotions I wrote for adults.
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